5 Questions NOT to Ask in Bed

5 Questions NOT to Ask in Bed

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Shhh We have all been there before, you have finally slaved through the phone calls, long texts, and date. Or you just met in the club and was on the naughty side of drunk. Now you find yourself in the bedroom, clothes coming off and temperature rising…and then someone gets the idea that there couldn’t be a better time for an interview. Here are some questions that are an absolute NO NO in bed.

1. When last did you have sex?

Firstly, why are you even asking this question now? And who in their honest mind would tell you they had sex only twelve hours ago if that were the case? For girls, it is almost standard practice to reply this question in months and not even weeks. Just be happy you’re getting it now and stop asking security questions like government officials.

2. Have you done this before?

Maka why? Seriously? This one come up more during one night stands. For men it isn’t always a big deal, thanks to the societal acceptance of male se-xual adventure. For women on the other hand, some will even tell you straight away ‘usually I don’t do this’, which begs the question how frequent is “unusually”. To circumvent this, some women just straight up tell you they have never done this before. Either way, asking anyone if they have done anything se-xual before during the act is just a NO NO.

3. Am I the best you’ve ever had?

Bro, you could have stopped at ‘do you like this d!ck?’ Babe you could have stopped at ‘is this pu$$y good.’ Please in your most sensual voice possible. But you had to make it a JAMB question. To start with, this is a bit of a trick question because the only acceptable answer is an emphatic YES. But on the flip side now the guy/girl is thinking about other great encounters they have had and don’t be surprise if you pale in comparison because the last person didn’t bore them with interview question.

4. So you brought a condom? You came thinking you would get some…

Really….like really? Firstly, everyone should always have raincoat on them if there is even the smallest possibility of sex…and just as a habit you would have one wherever you go. You never know when your hormones would choose to betray you. As a guy I cannot think of any situation that is a bigger turn-off than this most dreaded of question. Can you just be happy at least one of us was thinking about safety here and being a responsible adult. And ladies please, you are just as responsible for your protection as the guy so please add a con-dom to the list of infinity you stash in your handbags.

5. Is it in yet…

No….JUST NO

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